Single and not searching but rather Finding



Thanks for stopping by DO (delightfully Unorthodox). Happy to host you.

A while back one of my readers came back after having finished one of my articles and offered, ‘I don’t feel like you shared about yourself enough for me to feel I have now learnt a piece of you I knew nothing about before.’ But the reason for starting this platform was not to talk about myself, I already do that on other Social media platforms. The reason for the existence of ‘do’ is to share the discoveries I have made as I seek out on this journey of self-awareness. I am naturally a person that likes to have fun and whom has always been curious and eager to learn. Combine the two and you have educate and entertain. Learning doesn’t have to be a serious setting… we can have a laugh while we add to our wisdom. That is what do is all about.

And so by just sharing with the world my world either through thoughts translated into writing, I am revealing bits about me with each piece I release. But just to bring myself closer to my readers, I will from time to time share my life details, much of which very few are aware of, on this new category I created and titled ‘Get to know me’

This time though, I will talk about me just a bit…

Growing up, I was pretty much a loner. What?! You ask, yes. I wasn’t always bubbly and open minded. Sitting on the side paths watching my sis play with her pals ‘shake’ was all I wanted. My mom made her tag me along with her, maybe because she was worried I needed to learn to socialise for normal growth. But the biggest consolation was knowing I would go back home to freshly made cake and tea. My mom baked. She was great at it too. All my life I had my family there for me, always supporting and cheering me on in whatever I decided to conquer. I thank God for them.

After high school I got into romantic relationships one after another and another. They obviously were not so successful since I am single now… or rather, I walked out of each and sadly right into the next, never allowing the period needed to be alone and reflect on the whys. And so it is now that I have been single for the longest time. About two years. Not that I am searching but rather finding. Confusing? Allow me to explain.

  • Search – to go or look through in order to find something or someone missing or lost
  • Find – discover or perceive by chance or unexpectedly

In the first instance, you know what you are looking for, so I would be actively looking for a specific object or rather person. However, this is not the case. I’m at a place where I know not what I explore and if I do find it, it would be by mere chance. If I do not find it, then that’s okay too since finding myself is more important anyway.

Because really, how can you expect to make someone else happy before you can make you smile. How will you come to perceive that which is good for you, when you lack knowledge of the fundamentals that make up your DNA. The only constant in all my relationships is that I was completely unaware of myself. Forcing my partners to fill a void that only I was responsible for conceiving.  Expecting a love I did not even understand how to receive. Praying for completeness and success while asking for the revelation of my purpose in this cycle we alike to life. What am I getting to? I had ability to see but was blind since I had no vision. Saw fake friends as my family and my real family as insignificant people that would love me unconditionally. (I am truly sorry)

Only now do I realise that being single is the most important time in my life. I must build into being comfortable with all my flaws. Invest in the greatest gift from above that is my mind, towards being a great tool for survival and prosperity. My hands strong and skillful to build and maintain great substance. My heart to be big and kind enough to give as much and more love than I am to expect back. And my soul to be fed by what will keep it alive and thriving. A state that may be summed up to wholeness.

It is because of the discoveries I have made that now more than ever, I am not keen on jumping into the next relationship. I want to provide for my family instead of expecting them to feed and protect me. Listen to and care for my friends instead of complaining and making demands to them. Give back to the universe before asking for its powerful favour.

And so now I ask of all my potential suitors that may be reading this, please don’t rush into trying to tie me down. Because just like you cannot contain the rays of the sun as it rises, it is impossible to tie my wings and blind my vision of gliding towards greater heights. I won’t let you. My great Father whom created me will protect me from you. So I dare you to go out and date yourself. That’s right, learn to communicate, love and grow your life before proposing the possibility of adding value to mine.



Delightfully Unorthodox


8 thoughts on “Single and not searching but rather Finding

  1. Day by day you rise to the task
    Born a winner, living like a winner and will be remembered as a winner
    Aluta continua


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