Thanks for stopping by DO (delightfully Unorthodox). Happy to host you. The next few minutes will offer an escape from brainless routines. Pay close attention to each point for its significance is inevitable.
I was going to push this one to next week, but judging from multiple occurrences of not so pleasing experiences, I feel this is more urgent and should be addressed at the earliest possible moment (NOW!)
In this piece I attempt to point clueless ‘texters’ in the right direction to help get a better experience in the game of texting and even, throw in key pointers on how to please your partner with simple yet witty interruptions in their daily life. Over and above, we need to have a better understanding of social technology to best enjoy it.
Most people may think that texting is simple and straight forward. They may wonder why I spend so much time dissecting and interpreting the deeper meaning of wording in texts (I do). Well we may not realize it but texts reflect something deeper in us. Either confidence or deep insecurities. Well organised or messy. Thoughtful or ignorant. Kind or bitter. Giver or taker… You get the gist right? Right. If you can master the art of recognizing such traits early in the dating stages, you’ll be able to make critical decisions, on whether to invest any more time you’ll never get back. Might even save you from potential bodily harm.
Here are a few basic point to get you started;
- We’re not actually addicted to the phone, but rather to how the phone makes us feel. Social media has the ability to serve massive doses of Dopamine to our bodies. For those who may not know it yet, Dopamine is a feel-good hormone. It is what makes us addicted to certain sensations, such as eating or sexual intercourse. When you spot someone you find very attractive, neurotransmitters in your body send signals to the brain making you more alert and drawn to your new crush. The same is experienced with social media… think about it, how good does it makes you feel when your phone is buzzing continuously with notifications of the likes from your new photo upload. Or when you finally get a response from the special someone you had been waiting on all day.
2. Less is more with texting. Only serve small doses of info on text, leave them wanting more. You may call it playing games, I call it getting a life. How idle can you be to always be on your phone replying texts all day every day, not work related. Also, too much info shared takes away the fun. Texting is supposed to be exciting and mysterious, so you writing an essay on the day’s activities, thoughts and conclusions included is lame. Check yourself!
Flirting gone wrong
3. Coming up with subtle flirty implications is a great way to throw somebody off and create anticipation. An example, ‘If you were here...’ This will mess with their mind because you created the impression that something would happen, causing their imagination to run wild. Flirty people are the most fun to be with as they always allow your imagination run wild… That is enough to excite someone.
4. Sharing photos. Nudes and selfies are a no no! Especially the random ones that have not been requested for. First of all, it is not very smart to even have nudes sitting in your gallery. Save that view for real time face to face encounters. How about you think outside the box and send something more engaging, like a group photo of you and your friends have a great time and laughing with the caption ‘you’d be smiling too‘. Or a something interesting that you’re currently experiencing such as great view or an affectionate couple with a caption ‘would be fun to make ours‘ . This is more mature and makes you seem inclusive since you’re not asking for attention on yourself. It is also fair to consider the situation the recipient may be in, so as to not embarrass them if they are with colleagues while opening the image or worse, upset them even more if they are having a bad day. Positive gestures always win.
5. Learning how to read in between the lines. Remember when I said texts reveal something deeper in us? You want to match someone’s energy on text to be able to keep the conversation going. Here is an example;
Me: OMG I just got my results! I aced the exam and got an A!!! Yaaaaaay! You: cool.
First of all, that reply will kill my energy as it shows you’re not moved by something that is clearly a big deal to me. I probably called you first to share the news with before everybody else.
Read the words carefully and understand their mood and meaning before responding. In case you’re busy, congratulate the sender and promise to call later when you’re in a better position. Good listening skills make good conversationalists both face to face and on text.
Crazy girls be like..
6. Stay away from the keypad when angry. You’re not thinking straight, chances are you might say something you will wish you could take back. If you can’t help yourself and type an angry text, before clicking on send re-read your text out loud to hear how silly what you came up with sounds. Personally, I trained myself to abandon the idea of trying to communicate when angry and distracting myself by going out to eat or work out in the gym. Both options are very fulfilling and will leave you feeling a lot better afterwards and in a clearer head space. Try it sometime.
7. Give value to your texts. This is a huge one for me! I absolutely hate boring texts… so much that I feel like my fingers are burning when trying to reply to them. That’s why I often just frown and leave no response. Here is an example;
You: Hi. – You are clearly both bored and boring. Especially if you’re trying to start a conversation with a stranger. You have invested zero energy on that two letter incomplete word that is not even proper grammar! You do not deserve a reply, even a mere punctuation such as comma or full-stop. In fact, that mobile should be taken from you and destroyed. This is next level laziness. Your ancestors are probably embarrassed you inherited their nose. And to those that encourage such preposterous behavior by replying to them, Shame on you. Example two;
You: What are you up to – Nosy human that probably has no come back of exciting plans to propose. After you tolerate the statement (that should be a question, but couldn’t be bothered to include the question mark) They reply with a boring “oh okay” or even worse, never reply. What was even the point of asking then? Stop bothering people with nosy texts, just google ‘gossip’ there are so many sites that offer useless details of lives of people, most of which don’t even have any outstanding abilities other than posing for nudes online. Indulge in them and leave me be.
8. Over use of punctuation marks. We are all guilty of this, especially when we are trying to over emphasize something. Or, your keyboard is broken. Whichever the case, you do not want to seem illiterate or immature or both. Keep it classy and Stick to what your grammar teacher recommended.
9. No punctuation at all. Let us try a small exercise. pick up something slightly heavy and hold it above your head with both hands. Done? Okay next, hold your breath for two minutes. Piece of cake right? I don’ think so.
The ‘something heavy’ is me trying to make senses of what your sentence really means without any punctuation. That’s right, it weighs my mind down to a point I want to give up on trying to hold on to your words. Holding your breath is the state you force me in when you don’t allow me to breath between the sentence by use of commas and full-stop. Now that you know why using punctuation marks is important, please utilize them.
10. Use texts to ascertain your standards. Not in a standoffish way where you sound bitter and rude, but rather a simple and clear communication of what you are and aren’t. Learn how to correct someone in a kind manner to avoid hurting someone’s feelings. Most often than not, they are genuinely clueless at how to communicate effectively. Especially if you would like to continue seeing that person, strong wording can be a serious put off as they may read off bad energy and be scared off for good. Here’s an example;
Him at 10:45pm: Hey pretty, I just happen to be in your neighborhood… you home? Would be nice to catch up over some wine! I’ll bring the bottle with me 🙂
Bare in mind, last time he ‘stopped over’ the party ended up in your sheets. You can’t be mad at him for trying to ‘get with you’ again, he is a normal guy and human. But you now want more. He was polite about it by having the courtesy to ask before showing up at your doorstep. So in stead of being stand offish about his proposal to see you, a good communication of your standards without putting him off completely would sound like this;
You: Hello handsome, I had a great time with you last week. But I would prefer to plan on an official date where we dress up to go out and share a meal over good conversation sometime. You can tell me all about the crazy story of how you ended up in my neighborhood. ( 😉 Wink face)
This text clearly says you’d like to see him again, just not under the same circumstances as last time. The emoji makes it playful since you’re calling him out on the true meaning of his invite.
Some questions you may have from common instances and how to handle them…
Qst: If I met a guy in a social setting, we had good chemistry and at the end of the next he asked to exchange numbers, should I text him first?
Ans: No. Let him put the first investment and initiate the conversation. Ladies nowadays want to put in all the work especially if they like the guy. He is the chaser so you should be patient to see if he was into you as much as you are into him. However, he may have lost your number or forgot to save it correctly (it happens) wait for at least two week before sending a SIMPLE text to mention who you are and where you met and you’re checking to see if he lost your number. Please stick to one text and again, no essays, don’t sound angry or confrontational. It is super unattractive.
Qst: If he doesn’t respond to my texts, what should I do?
Ans: I know that when you are expecting a reply to your text, seconds feel like hours and hours feel like days. Don’t even get me started on what days without a response feel like! But see the thing is, texting is a game that requires a lot of patience. So wait until you finally get his reply. A big put off is texting multiple texts back to back as if you were having a conversation with yourself in someone else’s phone. Sounds off right? Yes because people that talk to themselves have a name…Insane. Now the question is, do we need to get your sanity verified?
Qst: He/She sends the classic late night text, usually a drunk text. What do I do?
Ans: Never respond to such texts. And do not apologize for not replying the next day. You are then communicating that you’re not okay being the last person in their mind. If they wanna chat, they should try much earlier on in the day. Don’t even hurry to reply first thing in the morning, go about your business till when you are idle to give them a chance of feeling foolish. They will be wondering whether they completely messed up any chances of you talking to them again.
Thank you for reading this far, I sincerely hope that this was educative and fun. If you have points that you feel should have made the list, pop them down below on the comments section and keep the conversation going.
Feel free to send in any questions on texting and I’ll try to answer each to the best of my ability. Hit me up on my Instagram and facebook, I’d love to hear from you!
Don’t forget to share with that person you know needs to see this!